I’ve been asked to be more ‘personally revealing’, to allow a few more cliches through, to describe visual moments and to talk about some of the difficulties travelling in India.
I’m going to be perfectly honest. I’m living a very ‘un-difficult’ life. And I chose that so I’d be able to write. So I have a quiet room at a nice guesthouse where no one bothers me unless I ask for something. I buy a morning coffee in a franchised coffee house that does a pretty good espresso. The most embarrasing thing that’s happened is ordering too much takeaway food and the attendant asking me if I was having guests. When I said no, he laughed and said I’d be eating Natavaram Korma for a few days (I am).
I’ve been made fun of for brushing my teeth with bottled water (I’m not sick though) and by a Jain priest for my pronunciation of ahimsa which I was saying ‘ahisma’.
I do have to argue with the auto drivers every morning about fares (I’m saving myself 50 cents but you become obsessed with the principle). I get offered help constantly. I accept it when I need it and smile and say no when I don’t. I get a little stressed when I’m lost (which happens a bit).
So, what do I think? How is this impacting on me personally?
I like it here. Delhi feels like a very comfortable city to be in. At the moment there are a lot of interesting things happening (Rana says this slows down when the summer heat hits). The people I meet are doing things (writing, publishing, filming, speaking, managing, photographing) that give me a small insight to how things work, what has visual impact and ideas on how the city functions. I enjoy listening to people talk.
Everywhere there are small visual details. I was asked what effect the wind has on a sari. I watched the effect of motorcycle exhaust on the hem of a burka instead.
I do know that I’m tired. That each day I set out to do something. I do it and I’m exhausted. Dinner is often at 11pm (or later) so by the time I crawl into bed (full of mughlai food) I’ve had it (and it hasn’t worn off by 9am the next morning).
What I see is a city where people live many lives in order to survive. Rana and I spoke about not using cliches (sorry) like ‘contrasts’, ‘juxtaposed’ etc. because the people you see who appear so different from each other often share links, roles, bonds and manners invisible to the outsider. The have ‘multiple individualities’. It would take a long time (a lifetime?) to understand how their lives work.
Each day I feel euphoria that I’m working on such an amazing project and despair that I can never deliver on what it can be. I think that is the cycle I’ll have till it’s done.